First REAL Studio Day!

Wow am I full of energy this morning! Paperwork aside......I have entered a full day of printing.

I have five anthotypes outside in this hott sun exposing right now with the said materials I used to make emulsions yesterday. Excited to see how they turn out. Of course this process is not necessarily permanent but its been a treat to work with and I look forward to a final product, dont we all?

I have two leaves exposing outside, as shown yesterday. Unfortunately the skies opened and one got wet so I had to dry it off today and put it back out for exposure this afternoon.

I woke early, went for a walk, and the goal was to photograph life where I saw it. I photographed one roll of film until I decided I wanted a 35mm camera to photograph with so that I could have more images and then easily cut them up to collage on top of a leaf like I said previously. I did not go back out need less to say.....too hott. I will post pone the 35mm walk.

When I got home I set up to develop the roll of film I had shot. Loaded, chemicals all set, developed and what came out.........A roll of negatives from three years ago! This was a roll of film that was in a camera and I remember taking out, dont remember it being photographed, its been kept in proper conditions and was a big surprise to me this morning. So as I look through it I notice that it is from a hiking trip I had planned with my ex boyfriend. Yes, I know..... so the feelings I immediately had were anger. Here I had planned on a different outcome and again had wasted my time on this individual that I remember so much pain from. No frontal portraits of him but ones at the top of a mountain with his back to camera almost as if a meaning of saying it was what I thought. He was detached from me and couldnt understand how to treat me in my time of mourning.

What I had been thinking about doing was printing black and whites and then painting or adhering some other material to the print. Now, after this incident, all I could think of is printing this image of this man and driving nails through his figure. Just a way to relieve myself of all the words that I should of said to him but didnt find it necessary. Does this all become too cliche? It doesnt matter, its a feeling that should be expressed and so this is currently what I am doing. Putting my energy and time into making this print of someone whom I think is an amazing person who caused me so much unbearable pain there are no words for it. This will hopefully put a closing to this aggression that clearly I still carry for this matter.

Planning on spending the whole day down in my basement making prints etc. This is the most exciting day of work I have had and its amazing! Really starting to feel like I am accomplishing what I came here for, to find a process that is expressive enough for me to feel like I hold a connection with my images. Pictures will come later.